Tom Brady was driving his Audi on Commonwealth Ave when some douche bag in a minivan ran a red light and boned the shit out of Brady at Gloucester Ave. Only, the tank Brady was driving didn’t take the much damage on. The minivan however, looks like a dinosaur ripped the shit out of it. Must be nice to have money and afford a vehicle made of steel.

Now that we got that out of the way, holy shit to the media, especially 7News for not getting their fucking story straight before airing it. They always wanna be the first so they’ll throw anything on the news if it’s not true. Like, jaws of life being used on Brady? Didn’t happen 7. Like, Brady heading to Brigham and Women’s Hospital? Didn’t happen 7. Like, Brady being injured? Didn’t happen 7. I mean, what the fuck? Get your story straight.

Look at Brady’s car and tell me if the jaws of life were used?

Doesn’t look it.

Christ, no one will ever get this much hype over an accident like this. This is gonna be talked about the entire day by media. Is Brady ok? Did he sign his contract yet? Will this cause any issues opening season? Blah, blah, blah.

Everyone relax, fucking Justin Bieber is ok.

The best is when you have a right green arrow and you get that one jack hole trying to cross the street on a DON’T WALK light. It’s great seeing them almost shit their pants in front of you as you inch towards them really quick.

The signals are there for a reason assholes. Basic Humanity 101: Pay The Fuck Attention!

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Special lighted signals are often used at crosswalks to tell pedestrians when to cross a roadway. Pedestrians must obey white and orange DON’T WALK and WALK signals.

• Use a crosswalk if one is available.

• At crosswalks with pedestrian signals, push the button on the signal pole and wait for the WALK signal. Intersections without push buttons automatically give WALK signals.

• Before you cross a roadway, stop at the curb and look left and right for traffic. Be alert. Look out especially for cars turning onto the road you are crossing.

Expect delays everywhere, for everyone has forgotten how to drive.

Summer’s over leads to, back to school, which leads to 40% more soccer moms on the road, which leads to crazy drivers, which leads to accidents, which leads to the elderly who can’t drive, which leads to children getting hit by cars, which leads to water main breaks, which leads to, oh you get the point.

Good luck.

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Seymour, Conn. – Late Tuesday night, a Seymour police lieutenant told News 8 a police cruiser with lights and sirens on was heading down Derby Avenue in response to a structure fire.

As the officer was traveling down Derby Avenue, a late model Dodge Dakota, also going in the same direction, got over in the right-hand lane to make way for the officer.

But for some reason the driver of the Dodge Dakota suddenly tried to make a left turn onto Emory Street. That’s when the left side of the truck hit the right side of the cruiser.

The police officer was taken to Griffin Hospital for observation.

The driver of the truck was arrested for being two times over the legal limit, meaning driving while intoxicated.

That driver is unidentified at this point.

News 8’s Jamie Muro was told the police officer will be okay.

Source: WTNH

Oh, and by the way, there should be some guaranteed accidents throughout the state with all these morons on the road. Whether it’s the elderly slamming on the gas pedal instead of the brake, someone T-boning a school bus, or that teen who just got their license and think they are above the law. Just watch out for those idiots.

Have fun in Massachusetts Back to School traffic this week!

- Steve

Sup fellow Traffic Scooporties? You’ll now notice on the right side bar our Twitter feed. Time to time we head out on the road and broadcast live, all the dip shits we encounter, plus traffic updates. It’s fun, it’s entertaining, but we just wanna say that there’s always at least two people in the car. One driving, the other is the passenger sending the feeds. Because tweeting and texting while driving is a big no no in our book.

Also, we will no longer add our hyperlinked stories to our twitter feed, as twitter is used for just seeing “what’s up?” Those who use twitter, most likely use facebook where you can find our current stories. Or just stop being lazy and check us out here at www.trafficscoop.com. Our iPhone and Android Apps will be coming out soon.

Oh, and if you aren’t friends with us on facebook yet or subscribed to our Twitter feed, then what the hell are you waiting for?

Enjoy!

Oh, and expect Connecticut to be a bitch. God I hate that state.

Should be interesting.

But guess what? Probably not gonna happen this round. Why? Because the storm was lifted to a category 1 hurricane. What a joke. All this hype from when it was a category 4, and now it’s just gonna be a little drizzle with 50 mph winds.

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Residents and Visitors to Nantucket are urged to continue preparations for Hurricane Earl.  Public Safety Officials advise residents in low lying flood prone areas and areas with a risk of exposure to open surf conditions to seek alternative shelter for the duration of this storm.  Others are urged to shelter in place with enough supplies to last for 72 hours or more.  Earl is a dangerous hurricane that will result in extreme surf conditions, ocean swells, dangerous rip tides and has a potential for heavy rainfall.

Think of it. Yes, they should keep the alphabetical names. But for “E”, shouldn’t it be something like “Epaminondas?” How bad ass is that. Hurricane Epaminondas.

Epaminondas was a fourth-century BC military genius who invented fighting in organized units.

Or how bout when we get to the “H” category? Hurricane Hitler or Hurricane Hiroshima? See? More menacing. Don’t wanna fuck with that hurricane now do we?

- Paul

Streets are packed with the crazy fucks trying to get to stores, you got old bags who can’t just sit home and watch tv as it surfaces, you got lines upon lines at gas stations, crying babies while you wait in grocery store lines, fathers reaching over to the back seat while they’re driving to smack their kid for kicking his seat, pissed off wives, fiances, girlfriends, arrogant shit heads in their BMWs. Seriously, people are fucked in the head up here.

Shit, not to mention today is Friday. You know what that means? Between the assholes who took today off, mixed with those half day folks, combined with the working hard til 5 peeps, all stirred in with Labor Day weekend, expect gridlock everywhere in the Southeast, Northshore area. Why? Because it’s what we do best in this state.

We’re last minute. All the time. You wait and see who the dumb bastards are getting stuck in this shit. It will be hilarious. No sympathy for you morons stuck in 4 feet of water.

Watch, all this hype, and it will just be another day in paradise up here.

- Steve